Larry the Lantern Fly

Everyone is out to get Larry

Act I

Lary the Lantern Fly was walking through the woods one day. Larry was a beatiful creature, a newcomer to these woods. One of many invasive species that had recently settled here.

Larry spent most of his time eating the bark of the local trees. This caused significant damage to the trees and was a very serious ennironmental issue. Larry knew that the local humans were concerned, and didn't like that he was around. He didn't quite understand /exactly/ what their problem was, he simply had a vague idea that he wasn't very popular for some reason. In fact, he knew that he was probably the least popular guy in the entire woods these days. He couldn't help but see his face all over the public announcement, signs, and various posters hung up all around Port Jervis that said, "Help eradicate the Lantern Flies. Destroy all nests and step on any bugs you see!"

But all of that didn't really change Larry's behaviour. He was a Lantern Fly, after all, and so he went on doing what Lantern Flies do. He ate the bark of the trees, and looked beatiful doing it. The other animals in the forest thought the whole thing was rather amusing. To the forest animals, the humans were kind of silly. And putting up posters about Larry all over town was just the kind of silly thing they tended to to do.

Act II

Mr. Finnigan was planning his annual late summer fishing trip. He and Mrs. Finnigan looked forward to this trip all year 'round. More than week out in the back country, fishing and hiking and enjoying the great outdoors.

However, this year Mr. Finnigan was a bit worried. There had been a string of burglaries around town, and the cuplprits hadn't yet been apprehended. Mr.Finnigan was worried about leaving the lakehouse unattended for so long.

He decided to ask Wally for help. All he needed was for Wally to just sort of make his presence known, keep an eye on the place, and generally keep any ne'erdowells away. Mr. Finnigan figured that there was no one in the forest who had a better sense of what's going around the woods than Wally. And Wally can be quite the terrifying creature when he wants to be.

There was only one problem. How could Mr. Finnigan trust that Wally wouldn't eat all of his chickens?!?

But he needed Wally's help, so he decided to talk to him, and see if they could work something out.

Act III

Wally, of course, was very happy to help out Mr. Finnigan. And he was apalled, simply aghast, that Mr. Finnigan would even suggest that he'd steal chickens. Wally doesn't steal chickens! He's never been caught doing any such thing! Its that devilish Felix the Fox who's been stealing Mr. Finnigan's chickens!

"Alright, alright", said Mr. Finnigan. Just please do what you can to keep an eye on the place and make yourself seen every so often, and leave the chicken coop alone. I'd be much obliged and grateful if you could.

"My dear friend Mr. Finnigan, as the Mayor of this Town, you have my solemn word".

Act IV

Wally waited until the third day of Mr. Finnigan's absence to raid the chicken coop. The grounds around the lakehouse were squishy and muddy from the downpour the night before. As Wally sat atop the chicken coop, licked blood from his paws and picking his fangs with a chicken bone, he thought about what a crazy summer storm that had been last night. Just then, Mr. and Mrs. Finnigan came walking slowly down the path. Mr. Finnigan's head was hung low, all of camping gear in a disorganized bundle on his back, dripping wet. Mrs. Finnigan trailed behind him, also soaked to the bone, but secretly pleased that the camping trip had been cut short. She thought to herself, how nice it would be to dry off, clean up, and spend the evening in her own warm bed.

Wally was surprised to see them, to say the least. But his instincts kicked in, he had to come up with a plan. But how was he going to explain this one? For the first time that Wally could remember, he was out of ideas. Was he simply caught red handed?

He didn't have much more time to consider it, because right then Mr. Finnigan liften up his head and saw Wally.

"WALLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? You're eating my chickens?!? I trusted you!"

Wally started to mumble some kind of excuse, but it was all gibberish, and Mr. Finnigan didn't even pause long enough to hear him. Wally could tell that Mr. Finnigan was really upset. Cutting off the annual campign trip was a big blow to someone like Mr. Finnigan, and to come up to this sort of betrayal. It simply set him off.

"You stay right were you are, wolf. I'm calling the cops"

The cops were there in no time. Wally heard them coming down the path.

"There he is," said Mr. Finnigan, pointing at Wally.

When the first cop got there, he was out of breath.

"Where," panted the cop. "Whats going on?"

That's when Wally say his opportunity. He cut in, before Mr. Finnigan could respond.

"Right over there!" screamed Wally. "Larry the Lantern Fly. We just him, chewing on the tree bark. Let's get him! Stomp him with your feet!"

The cops sprang into action, as if Wally's mention of the Lantern Fly was like starting gun of a race. They started stomping about, trying to smash Larry, whereever he was. Even Mr. Finnigan's social conditioned kicked in. He started stomping around as well, to do his part in eradicating this scourge.

Meanwhile Wally slinked away to the lake for a quick wash.

Act V

When the cops and Mr. Finnigan had finally satisfied themselves that they'd crushed Larry the Lantern Fly, whereever he was, Mr. Finnigan directed their attention back to Wally.

"Alright guys, can we deal with Wally now. I trusted him to keep an eye on my place, but he ate my chicken while I was away."

Very calmly, Wally said, "I'm sorry Mr. Finnigan, but you /must/ be confused. I did no such thing. Indeed I kept an eye on your place as you asked, and made sure that no burglars set foot on your property. But I stole no chickens, perhaps it was Felix?"

Mr. Finnigan was very angry. "I saw you with my own two eyes Wally, sitting on top of my chicken coop just minutes ago!"

"It wasn't me," said Wally. "How long has it been since you got some proper rest, Mr. Finnigan? Perhaps your eyes are disceiving you. Mrs. Finnigan, I can't imagine you two slept very well in that storm last night."

"Oh good heavens no Wally," said Mrs. Finnigan, "I dare say we did not sleep a wink."

"I caught you red handed Wally," exclaimed Mr. Finnigan. Your paws are covered in chicken blood"

"My paws are covered in what now, Mr. Finnigan," asked Wally innocently, waiving his clean, recently lake-washed paws in front of himself.

Mr. Finnigan knew then that he had been bested by Wally, yet again. He simply picked up his camping gear and turned back towards the lakehouse.

Mrs. Finnigan thanked the cops for coming, remarking about what a pity it was that Mr. Finnigan's camping trip had to be cut short.