The (Second) Chickenius Invasion
Never, ever, ever do time travel if you don’t want to meet a group of wacko historical figures.
Act I
One day a mad scientist chicken named Chankenstein was in his lab, working on his latest invention. He was making a Time Machine.
“CHANKENSTEIN!” His friend Chankenstein yelled. “WHERE’D THE FAIRY PRINCESS FRIENDSHIP FRIENDS DELUXE UNICORN LIMITED EDITION MAGICAL SURPRISE GO?”
“I am using it for my Time Machine, Chankenstein,” Chankenstein replied. The Fairy Princess Friendship Friends Deluxe Unicorn Limited Edition Magical Surprise was a very fruity lip gloss sponsored by the TV show Fairy Princess Friendship Friends. Chankenstein found it disgusting, but nuclear waste would likely help with his Time Machine. Chankenstein, meanwhile, was utterly obsessed with it.
“Why?” Chankenstein exclaimed, stomping down the stairs to his friend’s lab. “I understand that you are obsessed with time travel, Chankenstein-you are a mad scientist, after all-but why do you have to bring Fairy Princess Friendship Friends Deluxe Unicorn Limited Edition Magical Surprise into it? I doubt it would help your Time Machine!”
And to prove his point, Chankenstein pressed the START button on Chankenstein’s tablet. However, the fruity lip gloss was just what Chankenstein’s invention needed, and the time machine set off to it’s default destination- 1089, (chicken years) the year that Chickenius tried to take over the Great Coop Ring for the second time.
Act II
Charkie Chickenson looked through the big glass windows of the Great Coop Ring Central Building. The GCRCB was the biggest coop on Mr. Finagan’s farm, where the coops were arranged in a circle, going in a loop from biggest to smallest to biggest again. This was why they called it the Great Coop Ring.
Charkie’s family lived on the third floor. They were neighbors with celebrities, politicians, and people like Charkie’s mother who helped to run the GCRCB, and just weren’t the big well-known faces.
Suddenly Charkie noticed something. There were two oddly dressed chickens coming out from behind one of the smalller coops, covered with dirt, like they had been in one of the bunkers the Great Coop Ring Council had made after the Chickenius invasion. However, there was no bunker behind that coop and civilians weren’t allowed inside any of them except the Crocodile, anyway. The Crocodile looked like it hadn’t been finished but actually opened up to a mini-coop they often went inside. The rest were red herrings.
Nobody ever broke the rule. Why should they? It was actually pretty smart.
So who were these chickens?
Act III
Chickenius the Great IX waved at his army, the Cherkin DeShmirkin, after Chickenius’s successor, Cherkin DeShmirken. Chickenius had not changed the name because he was very humble and understood the successes of Cherkin DeShmirkin.
“BOW DOWN TO YOUR WONDERFUL AND INTELLIGENT KING WHO HAS NEVER BEEN DEFEATED AND ESPECIALLY NOT AT THE GREAT COOP RING!” He bellowed.
The army obliged.
“Join me as we storm on the Great Coop Ring for the second and final time!” He continued.
“We will, sir, we will!”
“HAYAH!” Chickenius let out a very fearsome battle cry as he leap off the balcony of his beautiful palace and into the streets, where his army had prepared a very large mat for him to jump into safely.
And so, the siege began.
Act IV
The Great Coop Ring defended itself well.
Act X
That was obvious when a couple of soldiers threw Chankenstein and Chankenstein off the roof.
“YUEEPAWAPPAZAPPANOBODYTOUCHMYFAIRYPRINCESSFRIENDSHIPFRIENDSDELUXEUNICORNLIMITEDEDITIONMAGICALSURPRISE!!!”
Splat!
The two mad scientists landed on Charkie.
“Hi!”
-FROM CHANKENSTEIN’S MEMOIR, CHANKENSTEIN’S MEMOIR, AND A NUMBER OF WITNESS ACCOUNTS