Starry Stotter the Stag

Act 1

Starry Stotter really hated living with his uncle and aunt. They were mean and so was his cousin Budley. They were buffalos, while Starry was a stag. One day Starry got a letter. “I never get letters,” he said in awe. Inside, it said that he was a wizard! “Fun,” he said. “Ooh-I can go to Logwarts! The Lakehouse’s wizarding school! Fun!” Bagrid the Bear brought him to Diagon Tree, where all the wizards bought school supplies. Starry met a boy called Raco Ralfoy, the Rat. Starry did not like Raco very much. “I hope I’m in Slytherin,” Raco said. “What about you?” Starry did not know how to answer this. Starry went back to Budley and his aunt and uncle. “I have to go to log nine and three quarters,” he said. “There isn’t any,” his Uncle Bernon said. “Is too,” he replied. “Don’t contradict me boy!” He answered rudely. Starry did not like his aunt and uncle. “Just drop me off at the lake,” he said. “I’ll find the log, and take the stick-raft there myself!” “That’s a good idea,” said his Aunt Betunia. “Let’s abandon him and hope he never comes back!” “Whatever,” Starry said. Betunia, Bernon and Budley dropped Starry off at the lake. “See you never!” They laughed. Then, Starry saw a group of red-haired foxes. One of them was saying to her cubs, “Just run into the wall dears, it’s as easy as that!” “Excuse me,” said Starry. “Are you here for Logwarts? I don’t know what to do.” “Just run into the log,” the fox said. “Say, are you Starry Stotter?” “Um…yeah?” Starry said. “You’re awesome!” Said one of the cubs. “You defeated Soldemort!” “I did?” He said vaguely. “Fun.” After running into the log he saw a new, invisible log. A raft of sticks was floating by. “The Logwarts Express! Don’t be late, Fercy, Fed, Feorge, and Fon!” Said the fox. “Not you, Finny, you’re too young! Finny pouted. Starry got on the stick-raft. One of the cubs sat next to him. “I’m Fon,” he said. “Fon Feasley!” “Cool!” Starry said energetically. On Starry’s other side was a dolphin. “I’m Dermione Danger, the Dolphin,” said Dermione. She had books piled in her lap. “Dolphins are smart,” Fon said. “She must be a bookworm.” Dermione frowned. An ostrich was also there. “I’m Oville Ongbottom,” they said. “I’m halfway to a squib!” They got off the stick-raft at a huge tree that looked like a castle. “Welcome to Logwarts, students!” Said Bagrid. A bearded dragon with a very long white beard was giving a speech. “That’s Balbus Bumbledore the Bearded Dragon,” said Fon. “He’s famous and smart, and our headmaster. “Put this bark on your head and it will tell you what house to be in, first-years,” said Professer Bumbledore. “And a little nuts,” Fon added. Fon, Dermione, and Oville all went to Gryffindor, while Raco went to Slytherin. Then it was Starry’s turn. “You’d make a good Slytherin,” the bark told him. “Nuh-uh!” Starry thought back. “Fine,” the bark said. “Gryffindor then.” Starry joined Oville, Dermione, and Fon. Everyone at the table was in awe of Starry. He could tell that he was famous. Plus, the food was good! Fon’s brother Fercy led the Gryffindors to their Dormitunnel, a tunnel underground. It was guarded by a hasty looking drawing on a piece of bark. “Yeah?” The drawing said, irritated at being woken up. “Jarrydash smiddle,” said Fercy. “It’s the password,” he explained to the first-years.

Act 2

“Ready for a charms lesson?” Fon said as he woke up Starry. “Sounds fun,” he replied. Professer Bitwick the Bee taught them the levitation spell. “Wingardium leviosa,” he said. “Wingardium leviosa,” the class replied dutifully.
“Oh, Fon,” said Dermione. “It’s WING-GAR-di-um le-vi-OH-sa, not wing-GAR-di-um le-vi-oh-SA!” “That Dermione,” said Fon, “is a real meanie. No wonder she’s got no friends!” “Fon,” Starry said, “I think Dermione heard you.” Dermione had heard him and she was very sad. “Poor Dermione,” Starry said quietly, but he did not want Fon to hear him. No way. Fon would go crazy. Soon it was the Halloween feast. The food was delicious. But then, a troll rushed in! “Run! Run!” Balbus Bumbledore said. “Dermione!” Starry gasped. “What about her?” Fon replied. “She’s still in the bathroom, crying her eyes out!” “Don’t say we should save her, Starry,” Fon groaned. “We should save her!” “Fine.” They rushed into the girl’s bathroom to see Dermione cowering from the troll. Starry jumped onto Fon’s back and clubbed the troll over the head. “We did it” Fon cheered. “Did what?” Professor McConnagel said as she ran into the bathroom. “Defeated this troll!” Starry said proudly. “Five points from Gryffindor!” She said. Starry pouted. “…and ten points to Gryffindor,” she added. “FIVE POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!” Dermione cheered. “We can do math, Dermione,” Fon muttered. “Aww, shut up, Fon,” Starry said. “WE EARNED POINTS!”
“Of course, I have won many points,” Dermione said, “but still, this is nice.” ……

“This is Starry Stotter?” Fiona said skeptically. Ms. Rachel nodded. “I have to finish taping it up,” she said. “Then you guys can read the rest.” They had gotten it used because they didn’t want to pay the author money. She was very rude to trans kids. Even though she was such a good author! IT WAS SO ANNOYING! Fiona handed the book back to Ms. Rachel, who finished taping it up. …………………………………………………

Fun Fact: THE HUMAN AUTHOR IS ALSO A TOTAL ANTI-TRANS LADY!AND SHE’S ALSO A REALLY, REALLY, REALLY GOOD AUTHOR! AND IT’S JUST AS ANNOYING IN THE HUMAN WORLD!