Fiona’s Birthday Party
It was Fiona’s birthday party. SHE WAS SO EXCITED! It would be a movie night sleepover at her house. They would order delivery from Fiona’s favorite restaurant, Fonza’s Chicken Food & Dessert. She had invited every girl in her school: Emo, Dolly, Elli, Gigi, Titi and Penny.
After everyone arrived they decided on the first movie: Mean Girls! They were watching all Lakehouse Editions. Fiona’s mom gave them some chicken popcorn.
FIRST MOVIE: MEAN GIRLS
Fady the Fox: First day of high school! I’m so excited! La la la…
Enis the Elaphant: Hey. I’m Enis. Your friend.
Fady: Okay. Hi, friend.
Everyone ducks.
Fady: What’s going on?
Enis: It’s…the plastics.
There’s Taren the Tiger…the dumbest person you could ever meet.
Chetchen the Cheetah…she knows all your secrets.
And then there’s Legina the Lion. Everyone loves her. Everyone hates her. DON’T LOOK HER IN THE EYE!
Fady: Okay.
Legina: Newwww girlllllll! Sit with us!
Fady: Okay!
Enis: What is wrong with this girl?
Legina: Okay. Fady. No more ponytails.
Fady: Alright.
Legina: We’re besties then. You’re like so pretty.
Fady: Oh um thanks!
Legina: Braggy.
Fady: What?
Legina: Come over to my house!
Fady: Right now?
Chetchen: After school.
Taren: (hums)
In the hallway.
Fady: So apparently I can’t wear ponytails anymore.
Enis: You should hang out with them.
Fady: I am.
Enis: And spy on them and we can make fun of them together.
Fady: Sounds fun.
Math.
Teacher: WHAT IS X?????????????
Students cower.
Fady: I know! 49!
Teacher: And question 12?
Fady: 37!
Paaron: Bro!!!
Fady: I like you
Later.
Chetchen: YOU CAN’T LIKE PAARON
Fady: Um…do you?
Chetchen: Legina’s ex. I won’t tell.
Later.
Legina (On phone) So Chetchen told me you like Paaron.
Don’t worry it’s totally ‘kay. I’ll set y’all up. (Hangs up.)
Halloween.
Legina: Paaron. Fady wants to date you but so do I.
Paaron: ‘Kay love you.
Fady: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
At Enis’s house.
Enis: Told you Legina sucks. Let’s make her pay.
THREE HOURS LATER
Legina: YOU RUINED MY LIFE!
Fady: ‘Kay Enis. We did it!
Enis: I hate you! You stinky Plastic.
Legina’s room.
Legina: Making Fady Pay Time.
At school.
Principal: Taren, Chetchen, Fady. Which of you is responsible for making fun of other kids?
Chetchen: Legina.
Principal: TEACHER! HAVE AN ASSEMBLY!
Gym.
Teacher: Which of y’all hate Legina?
All raise hands.
Teacher: Which of y’all hate each other?
All raise hands.
Teacher: CATCH ME!
She jumps and they catch her.
Teacher: Your turn.
Chetchen: I did nothing!
She jumps and no one catches her.
Enis: Legina and Fady are the WORST.
Everyone: ENIS!!!!! ENIS!!!!! ENIS!!!! ENIS!!!!
Fady chases Legina outside.
Fady: LEGINA I’M SORRY Legina: UGH STOP IT
She gets run over.
Teacher: Join mathletes Fady
Fady: ‘Kay
Mathletes stadium.
Announcer: If 70 billion plus a gajillion bazillion was equerefified by a quadrilateral, what would be the resulting zoozizami?
Opponent: 45!
Announcer: Nope
Fady: Nothing
Announcer: Yup
Dance.
Fady: Forgive me
Enis: ‘Kay
Fady Forgive me
Legina: ‘Kay
Fady: Date me
Paaron: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Everyone: STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRSSSSSS
The End!