Dolly the deer goes to the Grand Canyon

Will the whitetail deer has a bar-mitzvah

Act 1

Dolly the deer’s cousin, Will the whitetail deer, was having a bar-mitzvah in the Grand Canyon! Since the Grand Canyon is so far away, Dolly has to take a plane there. However, Dolly is terrified of planes. And airports. And cousins. And bar-mitzvahs. And uncles. And aunts. And grandparents. And any type of crater, but especially the Grand Canyon. So she was dreading the trip.

Once they got on the plane, Dolly started panicking. A plane? To the Grand Canyon? Where there would be a bar-mitzvah? For her cousin? With uncles, aunts, and grandparents there? Everything about it was terrifying!

Act 2

Titi the turtle was also going to the Grand Canyon, but she was competing in the Olympics! She was doing track. She was the fastest animal in the forest, after all. She had done the same the last year, and had been in the news! In gym class that year, Titi had to walk very slow so Willy the warthog would realize she was moving. She wore the gold medal she had won last year proudly.

Titi was so small that the seatbelt didn’t help her at all. She slipped on her seat, but a chicken underneath her bonked her back up. “That was weird,” she said.

Act 3

The chickens wanted to come too. They were scared to be left alone. Even the biggest planes didn’t have even close to enough seats for all the chickens. So twenty-five chickens went underneath the seats of everyone on the biggest planes. Not including all the baby chickens.

Cherry was laying down on the outside and kicked Titi up to her seat so the chickens wouldn’t be discovered. She was very proud of herself. She wondered if Mr. And Mrs. Finnigan were on the same plane as her.

Act 4

Mr. and Mrs. Finnigan wanted to have a funeral for Fredrick the fish (see “Mr finnigans pets”) and for some reason they decided to have it in the Grand Canyon. They brought Snoopy the snail with them and wore black. They invited all their friends and family, plus all the fish in the lake.

When they asked Fifi the fish to come she was silent for two minutes and Mr. Finnagin was about to hang up, but then Fifi asked “Is Snoopy coming?” Mr. Finnigan said yes. She screamed yes.

Act 5

Fifi the fish was going to Fredrick the fish’s funeral, too, but only to see the love of her life, snoopy the snail. She planned to ask snoopy on a date at the funeral. Fifi the fish does not have many values. Of course, she didn’t MEAN to scream “yes” into the phone, it just happened!

Act 6

Dolly the deer was having a panic attack. The plane was sort of spinning and her seat was sort of wobbling (this was because of the chickens). She was relieved when the plane ride ended. But the first thing she saw at the airport was a gigantic picture of the Grand Canyon.

Dolly the deer fainted.

Act 7

Wally the wolf liked being the mayor. But there were some city laws he hated. He was going to a politics meeting to talk about one issue: chicken-stealers getting arrested!

He had his favorite book of chicken recipes with him. He also brought his wallet, and a ticket to the Museum Of Chicken, just in case he got bored. Benny the bear was sitting next to him, holding a ticket to the Worlds Biggest Dump plus a plate, fork, and spoon.

Act 8

Benny the bear was bored of small dumps. He especially hated garbage bags that were cut open and only had a few grimy plastic utensils stuck to the bottom. “Maybe I should move someplace.” He said. “I’ve heard of a place called Worlds Biggest Dump that seems perfect.”

Benny packed some of the utensils because if he was going to be full, the lest he could do was be proper. “If Worlds Biggest Dump is as good as people say it is,” he announced gleefully, “I’M MOVING THERE!” Patty the panther, who was passing by, grunted. “Actually, a lot of people just say ‘it stinks’.” She said.

Act 9

Patty the panther was annoyed. That Halloween she had:

1: Fallen through a clearing

2: Been confused for a bear, and

3: Heard that someone else was confused for a bear

This made her angry. And then she heard of a fashion show at a place called ‘no bear’. She liked the idea. And when she saw Benny the bear, looking determined to move to a place he found more suitable for himself, you could understand why she was grumpy. Then Penny the porcupine passed by, holding a sign saying ‘field trips 4 all,’. ‘‘Most people protest for other things,” Patty said under her breath.

Act 10

Penny the porcupine really, really wanted to have a field trip, but it seemed no one shared her enthusiasm. So she went on FaceBook and posted about a protest for field trips. For some reason she wanted to have it in the Grand Canyon.

By the time she got to the Grand Canyon she was already imagining the field trips she would have, like one to the mining cave, probably one to the Amazon River, maybe one to the time when King Chut was alive, or even one to Outer Space!

Act 11

Dolly the deer was hungry, but the hotel she went to had a buffet and she was scared of buffets. Plus, there wasn’t any grass, for some reason the other people dining were surprised a seven-year-old deer was gobbling down several containers of seaweed, and Dolly was scared of people staring.

Dolly was not enjoying the Grand Canyon experience.

Act 12

Frido the fox was bored. He had not stolen chicken for a long time and was craving some good charlie. Felix the fox hadn’t either, and Fiona the fox never stole chicken. So they decided to go to the Museum Of Chicken, a random museum in the middle of Arizona, to munch on some much-earned chicken.

Fiona carved a bust of herself into a block of wood during the plane ride. Felix scraped chicken off a bone (one of the chickens underneath him brought one of the chickens Wally had hunted with him and dropped it, Felix found it), Fionas mother spent the time drawing a chicken named Charlie, and Frido pasted a photograph of Wally the wolf on top of a dartboard. “I think this seatbelt is too big for me,” groaned Gigi the giraffe, who was sitting three seats behind Fiona. “Maybe I should’ve brought my own.”

Act 13

Gigi the giraffe hated being short. One day she read about the Guinness World Records and decided to enter for ‘worlds smallest giraffe’. And also go to Arizona for some reason. She took a copy of the newspaper and read about Titi running in track. She knew Titi would win, because she knew Titi was fast. Word travels quickly around the forest, so Gigi knew ‘Titi exhibits a extraordinary velocity that defies conventional expectations, traversing her environment with a swiftness thiat is both remarkable and unprecedented for her species,’ as Emo had told her, after asking what ‘sophisticated’ meant. Gigi wondered what seat Emo was in on the plane.

Act 14

Emo the ostrich was the smartest kid in her class. She specialized in vocabulary. But Willy the Warthog, her teacher, did not have a particularly good vocabulary. Most of the time he thought she was speaking nonsense.

So she decided to go to college, and once she graduated she would teach thirteen-year-olds in vocabulary. Or become a lawyer. Or a physician. Or a librarian. Or a doctor. Or a grave digger. Or a real estate agent. Or a firefighter. Or a hyper realistic cake baker. Or an astronomer. The point was, she could do anything in college! Emo was knocked out of her day dream when Henry the hippo walked by. “Aww, I just had this awesome dream where I was baking hyper realistic cakes,” groaned Emo.

Act 15

Henry the hippo loved grass. He REALLY loved grass pie. One day he read in the newspaper that there was a PIE-EATING CONTEST happening in Arizona, and he decided to take a plane all the way there! So he was extremely disappointed when he learned that there was only apple pie. Henry, of course, won anyway.

Act 16

Dolly the deer was taking a train to the Grand Canyon, and she was scared of trains. It was raining and she was scared of rain. But there was a plant next to the coffee station, and there was a little bit of grass next to it. Without second thought, Dolly bit into it.

On the other hand, Dolly was scared of coffee.